On the recent flight home from Italy I watched the documentary Janis: Little Girl Blue. Having just seen the 5th Avenue Janis Joplin musical I was interested. (Here’s a funny side note: I was on a girls weekend 10 years earlier to San Francisco and saw a play that was similar to this film. During the performance a fight broke out in the audience. I was convinced that, like Rocky Horror Picture Show, it was an act by cult Janis followers. Turns out it really was a fight. The ushers stopped the production, actors left the stage, audience dressed in weird 70’s clothes got hauled out, show started back up.) Anyway, throughout the film on my flight, Janis wrote letters home. Her mom reads this, “you can’t possibly want me to be a winner anymore than I do.”
Ah, Janis, not being a mom herself, I am not sure she could understand how bad we want our kids to win at life. Janis’ parents wanted her to go to college, marry a good guy, get a good job and mimic their own life. That just did not resonate for Janis Joplin.
It brings me to this question: how do you define success? How do you define success for your children? Janis left Texas at age 20. Janis’ parents longed for her to come home and go back to school. She didn’t. Even though Janis died of a drug overdose at age 27, most would recognize her music today, 45 years later. It’s a sad success story. However, I am grateful I can still play Me and Bobby Magee.
Here’s the lesson: define your own success. Choose what you are called to do. The other lesson for me: don’t pigeon hole the people around you. Let them choose what they are called to do. Just maybe they will surprise you.
For your listening pleasure, Maybe by Janis Joplin
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