When my mom passed away suddenly, my brothers and I were left to make decisions about what do with all of her stuff. My mom seemed to have a lot of things saved for ‘just in case’. Just in case she ever needed a small cardboard jewelry box lined with cotton batting, she had 3 dozen ready and waiting, tucked in a large plastic bin in the back of her closet. She had saved a ball of rubber bands so big we probably could have strung them all through her neighborhood. In her pantry were 3 unopened boxes of aluminum foil. The odd thing about that was she microwaved all of her leftovers and probably hardly ever used foil. Under the sink, cleaning products were stock piled. There was more food frozen in her freezer than any single person could eat in a year. The dates on the packages proved it.

That was a weird week. It felt voyeuristic to be sorting through her life, discovering treasures, throwing away possessions, dumping containers of juice and cottage cheese down the sink. Stacked up in the corner of her guest room were a couple hundred picture frames filled with the faces of us. She had saved them  all. Of course since we had given them to her, our milestones, no one wanted or needed another copy. They were all there; baby, school, graduation and weddings.

Its been over 3 years and hardly does a day go by that I don’t open up a drawer, closet or cupboard and think, “if my daughter had to clean this out today what would she find, what would she have to throw away, give away, discard?” Even though I make several trips a year to the goodwill, I still find myself holding on to things for the ‘just in case’. Stock piling and keeping items that I just might need for some future unknown. I still have a box of her letters I can’t quite seem to put in the recycle. They mean little to me, other than that they meant something to her.

One of the first things I came across that rainy fall week were over a dozen plastic shower caps. You know, the disposable kind brought home from a hotel? Here’s the thing: they were in MY bathroom drawer. Yep, rarely do I jump in the shower and not wash my hair, but there they were. That day I glanced over at the shower and there was a used one hanging over frame. That day I started cleaning out my stuff, little by little. That day I decided to quit bringing home more shower caps.

It’s hard to change old habits. Earlier this year I cleaned out my sock drawer. I donated nearly 20 pairs and still have more than I need in any 2-week timeframe. I’ve tried to adopt the philosophy of clean it out instead of organize it. I really don’t need a milk crate sized bin full of spare shower caps tucked in the back of my closet. I know for sure my daughter doesn’t want them.

I’m trying to use up the items in the pantry and fridge BEFORE I buy more food. I’m trying to get rid of a pair of jeans if I buy a new pair. I’m trying to surround myself with things that bring me joy instead of hanging onto items that don’t.

Then there’s the salad dressing. I never understood a snarky comment my mom had made about all of the salad dressings in my refrigerator being crap. It was an insult she flung at me as she left my house one night. I didn’t know what she was talking about. It was probably something leftover from a potluck. But as we emptied her fridge, bottle after bottle of the ‘good stuff’ was lined up on the counter.

PS-turns out I have at least a 3 year supply of shower caps. And, now what do I do with all the matchbooks now that no one smokes?