I was at my daughter’s wedding, hugging old friends, saying hi to family, meeting guests of our new family. An introduction to a guest led to the usual wedding chitchat: “your daughter looks beautiful”, “ the weather is perfect”, “the pastor made the ceremony really enjoyable.” It is unanticipated bliss to hear so many positive comments in one day.

From there the conversation took a bewildering turn. Inspired by mention of the wedding pastor, my new friend took out his phone, proceeding to review notes from a recent church service. I starting feeling a little like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, only instead of falling, I was slowly finding myself in kick the can jail. We used to play kick the can on the Loop, my childhood neighborhood. It’s a fun game if you don’t have to sit in jail too long. Apparently, something in the wedding ceremony struck a cord of resemblance to his church sermon. And then the jail bars were around me. 10 minutes in, he was engrossed, barely looking up as he pressed on reading the notes out loud.

I tried hard to give him my full attention. The Y calls it ‘Listen First’ and I have had extensive training to hone my listening skills. (Side note: not perfect, still perfecting those skills.) I fidgeted, glancing around the room. I could see people leaving I hadn’t had a chance to talk to. Please someone come and kick the can.

It became obvious that unless I rescued myself, I would be a player in the game for at least another 15 minutes. Another time, another place I would have probably enjoyed the conversation. Timing is everything. Finally, gently, I placed my hand on his arm to get his attention. He was seemingly oblivious to the fact we were at a wedding reception and he had captured the mother of the bride. I explained I needed to excuse myself to say hello to the rest of our guests. I’m sure I apologized, even though no apology was necessary.

It’s funny what you remember from a milestone event.

Weeks later I am still hoping I did not come across as rude.

I am a storyteller. I like it when people listen to me telling a story. I will work to recognize the signs of someone feeling jailed, captured, unable to escape from my talking. I will work to check my timing.