I had a trail walk with a good friend. Well, actually it was a phone conversation , as our trails here are wet and we are a little water logged. Don’t even get me started on the all the soggy as I discovered a bunch of wet cardboard next to the house heater in the garage. And how is it that expensive house repairs can be a little bit like mystery car repairs and you don’t even know what work REALLY needs to be done?
Anyway, a friend listened as I vented and processed out loud what I needed to do about a furnace working but leaking water. And the conversation became about friends and surgery and a story about a.long.time.ago.in.my.life.
Sadness hits at strange times. Sometimes its in the shower as the water pours over my head. Sometimes its late at night and the tears stream making my pillow wet. Sometimes driving in the car alone, sometimes watching something on TV. Today it was about a child I lost 24 years ago to an ectopic pregnancy, about losing both parents by the time I was 50 and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself that these experiences were taken from me before I ever got to experience the future I imagined.
Grief is a tricky thing; you never really know when or how it will hit. And then the joy of a life I am proud of, a life that is so imperfect yet each moment leads me today and trying to be better, do better, hits me.
Life brings joy after joy. And today it was about a girlfriend who answered the phone when I called and we talked about the mundane and the important all in the same conversation.