jo burgess hannon

fit for today, fit for life

Grief and a little joy

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I had a trail walk with a good friend. Well, actually it was a phone conversation , as our trails here are wet and we are a little water logged. Don’t even get me started on the all the soggy as I discovered a bunch of wet cardboard next to the house heater in the garage. And how is it that expensive house repairs can be a little bit like mystery car repairs and you don’t even know what work REALLY needs to be done?

Anyway, a friend listened as I vented and processed out loud what I needed to do about a furnace working but leaking water. And the conversation became about friends and surgery and a story about a.long.time.ago.in.my.life.

Sadness hits at strange times. Sometimes its in the shower as the water pours over my head. Sometimes its late at night and the tears stream making my pillow wet. Sometimes driving in the car alone, sometimes watching something on TV. Today it was about a child I lost 24 years ago to an ectopic pregnancy, about losing both parents by the time I was 50 and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself that these experiences were taken from me before I ever got to experience the future I imagined.

Grief is a tricky thing; you never really know when or how it will hit. And then the joy of a life I am proud of, a life that is so imperfect yet each moment leads me today and trying to be better, do better, hits me.

Life brings joy after joy. And today it was about a girlfriend who answered the phone when I called and we talked about the mundane and the important all in the same conversation.

It might be a Celine Dion song

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Women & Wine, Kathy Womack https://www.kwomack.com

 

More and more I appreciate the women in my life.   I have childhood friends who know my whole story: you know, even those bits you mostly never talk about but still affect who you are. I still have a connection with my college roommate that to this day I cherish.  And then there is the mom friend I met at a school parent meeting. This was a friendship built over many volunteer hours.

I have developed great relationships in my neighborhood over bunco dice and shared walks through our local streets. One girlfriend I met during our years building an Amway business and today we share a common interest of helping people get fit. Amazing co-workers have come into my life, and stayed after the work was done. Connections have developed from the classes I have taught.  And the women in my family: daughter, sister-in-laws, cousins, mother-in-law, have become lifelong confidants.

So Many Amazing Women.

A close friend can be a listening ear, hearing a long story, with detail after detail because sometimes you. just. have. to. say. it. all.   A friend can provide a good laugh.  A friend can nudge a shift in perspective and encourage looking beyond your own thoughts or beliefs.  Having a chance to hang out with fabulous women and hearing what they have to say can really be a positive, enriching experience.

Don’t be afraid to say yes to someone new in your life.   It is worth it to share you life with a great group of women, large or small. Even if they don’t all know each other. Even if they all know each other.

Thank you girlfriends, old and new.  You lift me up.

And then I just realized I am getting a little sappy and might have just quoted a line from this:

♫ Celine Dion ► Because you Loved me ♫

I’ll stop typing now before we end up with a link to Bette Midler, too. Because referencing my friends being my wind might get a little weird.

 

Are you a list maker?

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sticky notes with random lists

I make a lot of lists.  I have packs of sticky notes in the kitchen, on my bathroom counter, at my desk.  When a thought strikes, I grab a pen. When I have a task to complete, it ends up on a sticky note. Sometimes in the middle of the night I have to write down my thoughts or I can’t go back to sleep. I think it is because I am visual; once I see it I can visualize my to-do list.  Otherwise, I am constantly trying to re-create the scene where the thought occurred.  Have you ever done that? You know, walked back to the kitchen to remember what you needed to get from the garage?

Maybe because it is November and people are posting 30 days of gratitude that this list came to mind.  Maybe it is because my people are important. I found a sticky and starting writing quick, one word descriptions of my girlfriends.  It was easy. Their gifts & generosity are abundant, yet one word came quickly to mind for each; time, possessions, money, home, spirit.

Are you generous with time?  Getting together with friends is a priority. You’re generally first to initiate and make the plan happen.
Are you generous with your things? You are the type who loans out what someone needs, offering your possessions for others to use.
Are you generous with money? You are the one who donates readily when asked to give to fundraisers & non-profit groups. You are quick to say yes when asked to sponsor a friend’s fundraising efforts.
Are you generous with your home? You easily offer to host a get together. You put together a spontaneous party with friends and family at your house.
Are you generous with food? You love to cook and can pull a snack or a meal together in no time. You take cold lemonade to the gardener, ask the window washer if you can make him a sandwich.
Are you generous with kind words? Your friends always leave the conversation feeling good. You are quick to encourage and uplift.

What one word would your friends use to describe you?