jo burgess hannon

fit for today, fit for life

What will you leave behind?

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What is your favorite salad dressing?
What is your favorite salad dressing?

 

When my mom passed away suddenly, my brothers and I were left to make decisions about what do with all of her stuff. My mom seemed to have a lot of things saved for ‘just in case’. Just in case she ever needed a small cardboard jewelry box lined with cotton batting, she had 3 dozen ready and waiting, tucked in a large plastic bin in the back of her closet. She had saved a ball of rubber bands so big we probably could have strung them all through her neighborhood. In her pantry were 3 unopened boxes of aluminum foil. The odd thing about that was she microwaved all of her leftovers and probably hardly ever used foil. Under the sink, cleaning products were stock piled. There was more food frozen in her freezer than any single person could eat in a year. The dates on the packages proved it.

That was a weird week. It felt voyeuristic to be sorting through her life, discovering treasures, throwing away possessions, dumping containers of juice and cottage cheese down the sink. Stacked up in the corner of her guest room were a couple hundred picture frames filled with the faces of us. She had saved them  all. Of course since we had given them to her, our milestones, no one wanted or needed another copy. They were all there; baby, school, graduation and weddings.

Its been over 3 years and hardly does a day go by that I don’t open up a drawer, closet or cupboard and think, “if my daughter had to clean this out today what would she find, what would she have to throw away, give away, discard?” Even though I make several trips a year to the goodwill, I still find myself holding on to things for the ‘just in case’. Stock piling and keeping items that I just might need for some future unknown. I still have a box of her letters I can’t quite seem to put in the recycle. They mean little to me, other than that they meant something to her.

One of the first things I came across that rainy fall week were over a dozen plastic shower caps. You know, the disposable kind brought home from a hotel? Here’s the thing: they were in MY bathroom drawer. Yep, rarely do I jump in the shower and not wash my hair, but there they were. That day I glanced over at the shower and there was a used one hanging over frame. That day I started cleaning out my stuff, little by little. That day I decided to quit bringing home more shower caps.

It’s hard to change old habits. Earlier this year I cleaned out my sock drawer. I donated nearly 20 pairs and still have more than I need in any 2-week timeframe. I’ve tried to adopt the philosophy of clean it out instead of organize it. I really don’t need a milk crate sized bin full of spare shower caps tucked in the back of my closet. I know for sure my daughter doesn’t want them.

I’m trying to use up the items in the pantry and fridge BEFORE I buy more food. I’m trying to get rid of a pair of jeans if I buy a new pair. I’m trying to surround myself with things that bring me joy instead of hanging onto items that don’t.

Then there’s the salad dressing. I never understood a snarky comment my mom had made about all of the salad dressings in my refrigerator being crap. It was an insult she flung at me as she left my house one night. I didn’t know what she was talking about. It was probably something leftover from a potluck. But as we emptied her fridge, bottle after bottle of the ‘good stuff’ was lined up on the counter.

PS-turns out I have at least a 3 year supply of shower caps. And, now what do I do with all the matchbooks now that no one smokes?

What are your plans for the future?

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A gift of inspiration from a friend
A gift of inspiration from a friend

One word

One phrase

One list

 

Over the years I have tried many different ways to organize a new year. It started in college when I made a small list of items I wanted to purchase. I kept it in my desk and looked at it every time I picked up my paycheck from my part-time job. (Yes, I really did actually have to drive my paycheck to the bank and deposit it.) I had little extra money once the rent was paid. The list helped me stay focused when I was tempted by the then new Dominos Pizza delivery. Say what?! Hot, fresh pizza delivered? Later, I spent a few years and extensive time setting detailed goals in all areas of life from physical, to mental, spiritual, financial and relationships. During those sessions, plans were made for 1, 5, and 10 years down the road. The list of goals produced was pages long.

It sounds good to make big plans and put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. It can be fun to dream of what your future can hold. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming because it requires change and personal growth, lots of it. For many years I simply wrote 3 to 5 goals on a recipe card, encouraged by my father-in-law. That’s a whole other post on how supported and encouraged we were as a family to move forward by an awesome man. My annual focus was better with a smaller list. I didn’t transfer quite so many incompletes as in years past.

Then I heard a new idea. Or maybe it wasn’t new; just new to me. A supervisor encouraged our department to choose one word to reflect the bigger picture change, goal or vision for a new year. That sounded good. I choose a word and while it did focus my attitude and actions on several occasions, I still had a running list of ‘to-do’s I worked on.

Last year I heard the idea of choosing a phrase to provide clarity. That sounded good, too. Only it never became clear what I should choose for my 3 or 4 word mantra. My 12-month list with 4-5 items was, for me, easier to quickly jot down.

Looking back now, I realize that time spent deep diving into all areas of my life set me on a path toward being a happier person. Thinking about where I wanted to be in 10 and even 20 years helped me stay on a general path even though some years I felt discouraged and did not update or write any new goals. Some years I spent so much time focusing on one area, other areas became neglected. Some years one word would have been better for me than a long list I knew I should, but would not complete.

All of this added value to my life. So I encourage you to get out a piece of paper and write down a few things you would like to see happen in 2016. Just start. Move forward. Maybe a word or a phrase is enough. Maybe a list of 5 things is enough. Maybe this is the year you deep dive into planning your life, really exploring where you want to be in 5, 10 and 20 years from now and what you have to do to get there.

You are worth the effort.

 

Who’s drum do you march to?

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What is your Indian name?
What is your Indian name?

2016

I don’t have the habit of writing 2016 yet. Some years it has taken several weeks to remember to write the correct year. I used to make more mistakes when I was writing several checks a week. With computers and bill pay I don’t often have to actually write out the date anymore. Anyway, I thought with a new year upon us I would take some time to highlight an article I recently read called 12 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone.

The question is posed, “So do you remember who you were before the world told you who you had to be?”

Being the youngest of a big family, I learned early how to stand up for myself and I have always felt that I was bold, decisive, opinionated, in charge of my life. (I was in my late 20’s before I realized these traits could bring both good and bad.) However, I slowly starting grasping that my life had become a series of choices based on what I thought everyone else expected of me. I have always said I am a good copier.  Show me what someone else has created and I can usually figure out how to make a duplicate.  I was living each day to please family, friends, business partners.

When I saw the question Marc Chernov wrote, “so do you remember who you were before the world told you who you had to be?” I understood what he was asking. The struggle was real trying to remember whom I represented. In fact I was forgetting this: I needed to best represent myself.

What I wish for you in this year of 2016 is for you to live your best you. Maybe a statement or two from Marc’s article will resonate and inspire you to move forward.

The thank you note: is it a lost art?

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The outside thermometer hit 23 degrees this morning!

 

As the stockings come down and the ornaments are put away, out come the notecards to send to family and friends. Though I have often taken the time to write notes of thanks and gratitude sometimes I have sent them out of obligation. Have you ever done that? Sent a thank you card because you knew you should, or maybe even because your mamma told you to? We have a goofy saying around our house, “I’m too old to eat broccoli if I don’t want to!”

I have learned a lot of lessons over the years and I have to admit I did not think our daughter’s wedding would provide so many opportunities to learn and re-learn the teachings of life.  As expressed previously, I have been grateful for all the love shown to my family. I wrote notes to a few ladies that were particularly helpful. Honey and I wrote more notes a few weeks later to others that helped make the day a joy for us. For every single note we sent, we received a text or email back thanking us for our thank you note. I know, kind of weird, right?

Here’s the lesson: people appreciate being appreciated. So after you pack up all your holiday decorations, consider taking the time to make a call, send a text, write a note to those that helped make your season bright.