jo burgess hannon

fit for today, fit for life

…don’t let the bed bugs bite.

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picture of a one dollar bill

 

A penny for your thoughts. Don’t do a job unless you do it well. Nobody puts baby in a corner. You don’t pour my cereal. Don’t get your hopes up. Two all beef patties… The expressions, jingles, comments from our life can occasionally roll through our thoughts. Sometimes we don’t even realize they are words we might never have spoken.

Sometimes, these unspoken words can have more power than those we say out loud. I realized how much power one day when I was on a ladder, painting a window frame. I was alone and imagining a conversation where a person was apologizing to me for their bad behavior. With a shrug of my shoulders I thought, ‘well, a day late and a dollar short’. It was a dismissive, leaving no room for forgiveness or understanding.

Ouch. Is that the person I want to be? The story in my head, your head, doesn’t have to become a broken record.

grateful

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grateful

I heard Oprah. Keep a gratitude journal. Start every day, end every day remembering what you are grateful for. I was not prepared for being this grateful. Sometimes the giving spirit of those around me is overwhelming. I am certain I don’t always deserve it. I am sure I have been stingy with time, money or effort to the same people who have shown such kindness to me.

I knew our friends and family were kind, generous. However, as we grew closer and closer to Wedding Weekend, the gifts of time, money, encouragement, creativeness and kitchen gadgets piled up. A pile so large it still brings me to tears. My gratitude meter flew off the charts. Many of my close girlfriends asked repeatedly ‘how can I help?’ And they did. And their husbands did.  In addition to showering our daughter and new husband with all that they needed to set up their new beginning,  I received gifts never imagined.

So grateful.

 

 

Timing is Everything

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outdoor wedding ceremony

I was at my daughter’s wedding, hugging old friends, saying hi to family, meeting guests of our new family. An introduction to a guest led to the usual wedding chitchat: “your daughter looks beautiful”, “ the weather is perfect”, “the pastor made the ceremony really enjoyable.” It is unanticipated bliss to hear so many positive comments in one day.

From there the conversation took a bewildering turn. Inspired by mention of the wedding pastor, my new friend took out his phone, proceeding to review notes from a recent church service. I starting feeling a little like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, only instead of falling, I was slowly finding myself in kick the can jail. We used to play kick the can on the Loop, my childhood neighborhood. It’s a fun game if you don’t have to sit in jail too long. Apparently, something in the wedding ceremony struck a cord of resemblance to his church sermon. And then the jail bars were around me. 10 minutes in, he was engrossed, barely looking up as he pressed on reading the notes out loud.

I tried hard to give him my full attention. The Y calls it ‘Listen First’ and I have had extensive training to hone my listening skills. (Side note: not perfect, still perfecting those skills.) I fidgeted, glancing around the room. I could see people leaving I hadn’t had a chance to talk to. Please someone come and kick the can.

It became obvious that unless I rescued myself, I would be a player in the game for at least another 15 minutes. Another time, another place I would have probably enjoyed the conversation. Timing is everything. Finally, gently, I placed my hand on his arm to get his attention. He was seemingly oblivious to the fact we were at a wedding reception and he had captured the mother of the bride. I explained I needed to excuse myself to say hello to the rest of our guests. I’m sure I apologized, even though no apology was necessary.

It’s funny what you remember from a milestone event.

Weeks later I am still hoping I did not come across as rude.

I am a storyteller. I like it when people listen to me telling a story. I will work to recognize the signs of someone feeling jailed, captured, unable to escape from my talking. I will work to check my timing.